READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
