I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
