just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
