If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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