I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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