I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
