It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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