I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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