Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think your dad took our porno
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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