What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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