If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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