I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
