Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
