I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
