I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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