turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
