Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
