I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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