hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
