Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
