So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
