Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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