how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Hippo gnu deer
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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