It's like a parade of train wrecks.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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