If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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