Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
