He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Randomize
