I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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