I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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