I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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