I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
