why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
