is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
