I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
