She's JV to your varsity
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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