Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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