I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
