jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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