he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
