Having a random hookup so left but love u
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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