shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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