you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
