Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
