She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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