every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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