Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
