Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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