What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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