heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
