I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
