you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
areolas are like halos for boobs.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
