I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
